"Lobster" Rolls with Lemon Vinaigrette and Garlic Butter - Easy

I had to go to work today (Sunday).  The good news is that I didn't have to get there until noon.  The bad news is that I had to eat lunch at 11am in order to get there by noon.  Luckily, the surimi "crab" was conveniently defrosted enough to throw a lunch together, since at 10am I was at Big Box Hardware (to pick up a couple of things that will cause you to lose your appetite so I won't mention them) and didn't have much time once I got (un)said items home.
 

Found the original recipe in the recently deceased Gourmet magazine (July 2009) as "Lobster Roll."  Pretend crab subs quite nicely, thank you.  This fake stuff tastes pretty good when you mix it with something else, plus it is more convenient and doesn't try to walk away or snap at you.  Speaking of snapping, I got to watch "Julie & Julia" today on cable.   This is the movie where a wannabe writer writes a blog about cooking her way through Julia Child's The Art of French Cooking.  There's a scene where the fun ensues as Julie attempts to kill a couple of lobsters without grossing herself out too much.   Meryl Streep is simply mah-vel-ous as the great Julia!  But I digress ...

Wait!  One more digression:  I am the coordinator for ESL (English as a Second Language) at my library.  As such, I get to participate in the graduation dinner held at the end of the fall and spring sessions, where the students bring in home-cooked food that represents their respective countries.  OMG, the food is wonderful!  The students go out of their way to impress everyone else in the class with their culinary skills.  Even the men, who you might stereotypically think that they think that cooking is "only" women's work.  Most of the dishes are dairy or vegetarian since most of the students are veggie or vegan, or in deference to veggies and vegans bring veggie or vegan dishes.  One of the meat-eaters brought in a dish that had surimi in it, telling everyone that it was fake fish.  He had no idea that surimi was made of fish.  I quietly broke the bad news to him, and he was very upset about it.  But wouldn't you know, instead of keeping quiet, he was more worried about the possibility of veggies eating something with a face, so he went around to everyone warning them about the fish in the dish.   OK, end of today's digressions ...

TIP ALERT!  I find it easier to snip up herbs with (food-dedicated) scissors rather than chop them.  Something with a little more substance, such as the celery I chop the conventionally way.

You could make the rolls parve by using margarine or with more olive oil but as Julia Child has said, "everything is better with butter."

"Crab" Rolls with Vinaigrette and Garlic Butter
 Adapted from Gourmet Magazine
Yield: 6 rolls

1 (12-16 oz.) pkg. crab or lobster surimi, chopped
juice of 1/2 lemon
1/3 cup olive oil
1/3 cup thinly sliced scallions (the green part)
1/4 cup finely chopped celery
1/4 cup packed parsley, chopped
1/2 tsp. salt, or to taste (optional)
1/2 stick butter, softened
1 Tbs. minced garlic (about 3 cloves if not using the jarred stuff)
6 hot dog buns

Preheat broiler.  In a large bowl, whisk together the lemon juice and oil.  Stir in scallions, celery and parsley.  Add "crab" and gently mix together.  Add salt, if desired.

In a small microwave bowl, mash together the butter and garlic.  Cover loosely, then heat at full power in microwave for 30-60 seconds, or until butter is completely melted.   Brush insides of rolls with the garlic butter.  Place, rolls, butter side up and opened, on baking sheet.  Broil about 1-4 minutes, depending upon your broiler, or until nicely browned.

Fill buns with "crab" salad.  Serve with salad alongside.